Guilt and Conscience...

Yes, I killed... It was me... Kya kar loge... kuthe ke aulaton...
I'm telling, it is me... Come kill me... take revenge...
Main bol raha huna.. Yes, It was me.... Fu** you all.... you dogs...

He was tied, and was being taken away by four attendees...
No marks for guessing.... A Mental Hospital...

Chutkoo... he was my friend... well, till then he was my friend.. and remained so only for another two n a half hrs.
The thin, lean and short ... he was the chutkoo in our C-52 gang...

He had a lot to prove to others...
that he is strong, glamorous, he is brave.. and stylish.
Now I think he had some sort of complex..
Not that any one else in c-52 had any of those qualities.. but we never cared..
we never thought of wanting to prove....

But our chutkoo had to...
and we never noticed... never even bothered to notice...

Apart from the fact that he was afraid of dogs... Even a small puppy could bring the hell out of him...
He would not get out of house in the night if he hears a dog moaning a good half a km away...
But then he was our chutkoo.. He was well protected...

I think it was just out of this fear of dogs, he bought a brand new Pulsar. And it did help, the bike did instil some sort of confidence in him... Now he used to go out alone in the night..
Roam around all night and come back early mornings..

Our late nights started to become just the start of the day for him... and when he comes back he used to ring the bell some 10 times until all of us are awaken.....
uth jaa saalon......
But again.. we never bothered.. It was chutkoo.. woh toh pehle se hi pagal hai.. ??

Until one night.. I should say morning, when he ringed (surprisingly my phone..and not the bell )from outside the house and asked me to open the house... There was panic in his voice. And he asked not to awake any one else... and so I did go silentlly and open the door.

A December night and he was all sweating... and I noticed the blood stains.. in the front tyre of the bike.

Yaar ek accident hogaya...
Ek kutha ... main nabbe pe tha... woh.. woh.. beech main...

Half asleep, I said..

Its ok yaar...
Its just a dog... Relax.. Tumhe toh kuch hua nahi na...

Nothing had happened to him.. except for a scratch in the forearm...

I dont want this bike any more..
I want to sell it now.. I'm damn afraid...

Chutkoo.. tu tension mat lena...
ek kutha hi toh hai...kya hogaya tujhe....

I am damn afraid yaar.. Seriously.. You know na how much I'm afraid of dogs..
Now all of em would kill me... I am afraid yaar...
I want to sell this bike.. Please help me...

we washed the stains.. cleaned.. gave for a service.. and sold the bike the third day...

After 2 months he, chutkoo, shifted house to a new place.. and the meetings became rare...

It was after 8 months I was going to see him..

As he always feared... He was attacked by a few street dogs....
And he was admitted to a hospital..
But as he showed mental instability and streaks of violence, he was moved to a mental hospital near by..

Yes, you fu**ing bitches.. Come, kill me... I'll kill you all...
You.. you.. ... you.... yo.... and he was falling unconcsious....

I got to see him after 2 hrs...
He was normal..
Hi yaar...
and almost cried ... When I asked ...
Kya hua tumhe chutkoo.... ye kya halat bana ke rakha hai...

Yaar.. I had told you.. these dogs..."
They are taking revenge.. you remember the accident..

Revenge.. bull shit.. Tum pagal hogaya kya...
he stared at me.. and he asked...

What do you think I have become...

Can I trust you...
I want to tell you something
I have to tell this....

Areh chutkoo batana.. you very well know you can trust me...

You remember the accident....
That night, that night... It was not a dog....

then....

It was not a dog... It was a small kid... some street child...
Her dog had come in the way.. and she jumped in front of my bike trying to save it...

What the Fuck...

Main bola thana.. main nabbe pe tha.. I couldn't stop...

and you didn't stop..?? You .. you didnt try to save her..

I tried..da... I tried... But the moment I stopped... her dog.. it started barking at me.. and attacked me..
He showed the scratch...
God.. I have seen that before..

It was attacking me da.. I had to save my self. I reached for a brick and killed it.. smashed its head... smashed it... dim.. dead.. bloody dogs..
ha ha ha ha...
ha ha ha ha......

Oh My God... I looked at my hands... Those stains... I washed... blood... a small girl's..

You bloody basta....
I was squeezing the last breath out of him... when people came and removed me..

He was still shouting..

Come On you all.. Kill me... I know you want revenge...
Yes It was me...Yes, It was me.... Fu** you all ....
ha ha ha .... ha ha ha ...