Friday, October 12, 2007

The Fatal Conversation

Various sources have pointed me out that I should put a warning here. The writing is total shit. The matter is trivially trivial . The emotion is a mere blank. But even then if u want to read this particular article carry on... Please dont blame me.

From the day I joined freescale I found out that a new set of people are so interested in my life.
The bank representatives.

I've been getting calls almost on a daily basis asking "Sir, would you like to have *some precious metal name* credit card. And I always had a single reply. "I'm busy, in a meeting, call me later".

So even when I'm fighting with the pantry boy over "wheres the biscuit packet..???",
I would tell "I'm busy, in a meeting, call me later". Infact my most important meetings always happens with this pantry boy.

But s u know, the day had to arrive when all of us have to apply for a credit card. and for me it happened to be on a friday.

The fatal conversation :

She (it had to be a she, otherwise the conversation would have never happened) : "Sir, Myself Nandita from Standard chartered bank calling. Are you interested in the titanium credit card offered by us "

Her voice was really sweet and liking that I asked : Could you please brief me about the offer ?

She : @#$@#%#$^%$^%$^%^&%^&^#$^#$%^#$^#^#$^#$^#$^#$^#$^#$^#$^#$^ #$@#%
;&^*^&&^%*&*(*&(*&^(%&*(&*(^&(*&(&*(^&*(&*(&*(&*(&*(&*(&*9"

It was so fast I dint get a single word that she said, hopefully it was not some gaalis. :)

eh.... Could you please talk a bit slowly..?

oh sorry Sir. we are offering 5% cash back on this, that, this, that, tar, cement, oil, apple, cigarette n almost everything

Though tar and cement are not exactly the things I daliy use, but there were somethings in that would be useful.
Immersed in the various benefits that I'm going to get,.... an "ok" slipped out of my mouth.

And that was all she wanted : Can I have your name Plz.

its Kannan, Kay , yay , yan, yan, yay , yan . *( I donno what the hell she wrote )*

but the reply was something I never expected. and that too in such a soothing tone. ( slowly, word by word )

: wow, Sir, what a sweet name, kitina acha naam hai aapka, aapka pura naam kya hai sir

Kannan G. ( demanding full respect )

: bahut hi pyara naam hai sir aapka. really sweet. toh aap card le raha heina Sir.

But I was not a guy to be easily flattered. Though was definitely a bit interested now.

main sochke batata hun. aap baad mai call kar sakte hain.?

: Sir, aapko sochna hai ( It was total anger in her voice ) aapka saara dost liya hain, i'm not asking for any documents, main aapko muft main lifetime card de raha hun. Phir bhi aapko sochna hai..?

May be I got scared, may be I was convinced ki mujhe sochna nahi chahiye , may be I dint know what to tell, but I said

: Oh, mujhe nahi sochna chahiye, tab teek hain, aap apna representative ko bhej dijiyega

Thus I applied for a credit card without even caring for what a credit card is infact.

Theres a twist that even when i said my PAN number she said "kitna acha number hai sir."
I donno wtf does that mean.. kitna acha PAN number huh. But then it was too late .

I was ashamed of myself for being so easily convinced by someone. She even asked me not to think. How dare she.

I was mourning the decision with my friends when :

I got another call . this time from ICICI

another she : Are you interested in Gold card, Sir ?

Me (this time determined ): NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sir, Sir, aapka naam bahut acha hai sir. Are you interested in Gold card Sir ?

AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH No baby, Not this time.

14 comments:

Unknown said...

y hav u not completed it??? i think u hav dedicated a blog 4 a trivial matter... plz don mind....

jishnukann said...

I totally agree ritika. Thats a very trivial matter.
But as I said, both the weekdays and weekends flying past me without giving an event worth narrating.

So all i have is these trivial matters with which i'm trying to make make my life interesting.

Hopefully something happens in my life which i could share with you guys and is interesting.

Unknown said...

Wow. interesting....

Unknown said...

good to see sumone who has the patience of listening to these credit card wallas/wallis ..Most of us wudnt chat for so long ...Gud man keep it up..

Abhishek said...

I am being forced to write this comment. However, I sympathize with you Kannu.... I am also on the same boat as you.... Though few people contact me for cards. Perhaps they think I may not be able to pay their bills :).
Complete kyon nahi kiya bhai??
Aur teri hindi mein bahut gadbad hai....

Murali R said...

dai kanna too much build-up... :-) even i got so many calls frm SC,SBI n ICICI (obviously a female on de fone :P) but none talkd this way.. mayb i dint give em a chance to speak.. the moment they say 'im callin frm ***@# bank' i plainly answer 'I aint interested in any of ur cards/schemes.. thank you '..

jishnukann said...

@ music buff :

may be coz she genuinely found my name to be sweet n dint find urs. ;-) he he.
the conversation did happen for real though

neskay said...

very funny man.. i can imagine u going thru it...

jishnukann said...

@ neskay..

man, u shud have been here...
it was really funny...

Unknown said...

true evreyone faces that- especially guys get maxm calls from these sweet sounding gals :). Sad an intelligent chap like you got trapped ;). But very nice description especially i never realized u had such a "PYARA NAAM".;)

jishnukann said...

ppl always misunderstood me,
even my name.

hehe..

abhishek sharma said...

reallly very funny...
I recall FPsomeone and one night at
call center....
cool man... u rocked again.

Ankur said...

yaar next time she calls give my cell no. to her ....i would ask her out ;)

Shraddha said...

I m sure you must hav made everyone quiet by your prolific writing