Saturday, March 4, 2017

The day of reckoning and the moment of truth: The Interview

A couple of days back a friend called asking to share my UPSC interview experience. It is quite old now. But then I realized I have not shared one of the most ______ (Fill in the blanks) experience of my life here. So here it goes...

Well, as some of you might know, before, during & even after my preparation days, I used to write to people in the high offices suggesting what should they do to solve different problems. Thus I have written to the then Delhi CM on bus as winter shelters, to the Delhi Police on GPS based one touch SoS system on phones (this was before the Nirbhaya incident and all), to Secretary Health on modifying ultra sound machines for blurring genital images to prevent sex selection, to NAC & even the chairperson NAC on personalised information dissemination of various Govt schemes, to BCCI on the need for cricket teams & players from NE & J&K etc etc. Those letters were damn funny. And what more, I had the audacity then to write gentle reminders to them too.

Well, looking back, most of those ideas have since been implemented, even though it might not have got anything to do with me or my ideas. Check out the screenshots. A couple of them we could get published as Op-Eds in Indian Express & Hindustan Times later.

Guys, forget the UPSC interview story. I just wanted to share how brilliant I was. That's all. Like the post & go away... Shooo shoooo... 😂😂😂

OK... OK...

So, considering the whole writing to officials thing was a serious business for me, I genuinely felt this is my hobby when asked to write in the DAF.

What is your hobby?

Mine.. ? Very simble.

'Finding innovative solutions to social problems'.

Yes that's what I wrote in that darn DAF. Exactly that.

And that idea for a tradeable workplace diversity credit system for promoting inclusion...

Hey hey.. don't scratch your head.. just say oh that one!... yeah.. that idea was my Trump card.

Since they are my ideas I would know them better than the board members & will be able to impress them. Well at least that's what I thought.

Fast forward >>>> Interview Day

As I wait outside the dreaded interview room for my turn, all I am able to think is how bored those board members must be. Every day a set of young self declared geniuses will walk in & throw knowledge at the members & walk out. There was even a short period of time when I thought hey more than me it is they who must be terrified. I was going to immerse them in that diversity credit stuff & all...

So, as the peon tells me to go in, I walk in to the room.

5-6 people. Chairman is having my DAF with him. Just as I am about to sit, Chairman asks

So, Kannan.. It is your hobby to find innovative solution to social problems???

He seemed outraged at what I had written.. and for no reason I am shitting my pants scared..

Yes sir.. I replied. Unsure as to whether to continue through that now halted process of sitting or to continue in the half squat position.

Go ahead.. tell us one of your solution then...

Ah! The day of reckoning & the moment of truth...

Sir, the diversity is there... eh eh... credits and inclusion.. mmmmmm........ If diversity inclusion in equity market.. eh eh... mmm mmm...

Yep... Brain is on strike!

Tries to gulp a bit of saliva. No.. glands have gone on strike too. It is going to be a dry session, this...

After a few more expressive minutes, Chairman says leave it... its OK.

What OK.!!!! This shit was supposed supposed to get me through...

Well, to ease me a bit, chairman asks a very simple question.

Kannan, what is a 'Constitutional Position'?

Gathering & rearranging the brain pieces shattered & scattered across that room, I answer,

Sir, all positions mentioned in constitution are constitutional positions.. 😂

Board members have stopped pretensions by now and have started to laugh openly.

Chairman is still able to manage a serious look: So, can you give me an example?

Sir, CAG.

OK, can you give another example?

Sir, Comptroller & Auditor General!!!

(Yeah.. you heard it right. & yeah.. you guessed it right too. Brain rearrangement is not going as per plans)

It is a laugh riot there in the room now.. Even the chairman..

He still wants to give me an opportunity though.. Kannan, think a bit broader.. and answer the question..

Broader.. hmm..

Sir, Executive, Legislature & Judiciary.. (Can't get broader than this huh!)

At this time, the peon walks in with chai & samosa for the board members..

Chairman asks, Kannan, is the peon a part of the executive?

Yes sir.!! What a silly question..

So is peon a constitutional position???

Whaat now?!!! Chairman is behaving worse than my wife!!! Holding me accountable for whatever I said earlier and all... Hey.. That is highly unfair!

Having been trained well by then, I knew silence is the best answer in all such situations.

But the stubborn Chairman is still not ready to give up on me.

He continues.. Kannan, is Chief Minister a constitutional position?

Yes Sir..

So.. give another example.

Sir, Prime Minister Sir...

Once again the interview room exploded with laughter.. They are having a seriously good time with their chai, samosa & me.

One more time Chairman asked for an example and I said CAG one more time if I remember correctly. After that the Chairman gave up on me by explicitly stating I do not want to ask him anymore questions. If anyone else wants to.. he is ready to laugh it seems

The member sitting closest to me on the left side, a very studious kind with written questions and all, asks me that evergreen question.

What is the difference between judicial overreach and judicial activism?

I was already irritated by the lack of respect they are showing me..

I reply.. Sir, no difference. Both are same.

Whaat... they are laughing again..

I have no idea what that Chairman saw in me, even while laughing he says, Wait.. let us hear what he has to say..

I replied sir, it is just a matter of interpretation.. you give me an example for overreach, I will explain how it is activism, you show me an example of activism, I will prove how it is overreach!



Well friends.. from thereon the interview was quite non-funny.. we argued over overreach and activism.

There was even an incident when I made a funny remark at a member's question and we all had a good laugh at that. Payback time :) 😊😊

After a wonderful 30 odd minutes as I was walking out of the room, I heard the lady member saying 'He is a confident boy'. And that I will never forget.



What..... you want to know my marks..?
Nah.. not gonna tell :D :D


To all my friends preparing for the interview.. wish you the very best..
Be good at those brain jigsaws!